Falling and falling

Actual rainbow shot 2 days ago. The post was written a month ago.

Ouch! I think I sprained my ankle. I was coming down a grated step from my daughter's school and my foot got caught forcing my ankle to twist. I could have gone with it, but I was holding my non-school-age daughter and I didn't want to drop her. Who says my parental instincts are not sharp??

It's officially autumn gray and rainy here. It's "hyggelight" up to a point. Up until everyday feels like a shadow with actual mass that is comfortably pinning me down. That's the cozy part, and if I were a bear I would be in heaven. I could surplus my fat and just sleep while collecting my checks from the wild. But I'm not a bear.

The upside to fall here is really when it doesn't rain. Makes a huge difference. I get everywhere via bicycle and I have to wear this ridiculous rain suit that makes me look like a member of the poison control society. The up-UP side is when the sun is bright. The light is intense and enriching casting the most amazing colors onto the walls inside.

I wonder if Sasquatch (is that also used for the plural?) hibernate.

Any thoughts on Autumn?

Being activated

No. It does not mean that my owner will turn on a switch wired to my back. It means that I am being activated into the work force of Denmark. It consists of classes, tips and some headhunting all aiming to improve my CV, my job search skills and my communication and interviewing skills.

Day 1 - total confusion. I have to make a list of skills consisting of on-the-job and technical skills and personal skills. The list must be comprised of sub-categories which fall into a few main categories. It is the Karate Kid approach to job hunting. I must first sand the floor before I can punch. My previous CV gets tied to my waist and I must go through rigorous training in order to break down the elements, separate them and bring them together in a broad overview only to dissect them over and over until I have an ultra awareness of myself and what I can do on paper.

There's just one problem. I find myself jotting things down that I haven't a clue about just to expand my breadth of skills. I wrote down "project management" and "organization" as skills. The last person you want managing your project is me. I can barely manage my own shit with my innovative filing system. I Keep everything I've ever had the privilege of receiving or creating all on one desk in an abstract pile that almost can swing from the ceiling. Perhaps if I approach the paper work in a Calderesque way and have a curved wire spanning my entire house I can have papers hanging with the ability to turn and slide. That way I can see everything at all times instead of calling for a search party for every little detail I need to examine.

Day 2 - laid back. Birthday breakfast for one of the users. I pray that there is no song to sing. As I tense up when we sit down I acquire the awkward feeling that I'm attending a birthday gathering of someone I dont' know. And I don't know anyone there. Rolls, cheese, jam and coffee. No birthday song. Thank god.

Woman sitting next to me in the computer room is eating yogurt and I can hear every detail of her mouth with an audible microscope. I need to escape.

Day 3 - Lesson on communication. The instructor neglects to introduce himself. We hold practice interviews with one another. Instructor calls on me and asks how people communicate in New York - do strangers say hi, make eye contact etc. A woman from the back of the room hears New York and blurts out, "So many JEWS in New York". I turn and say "excuse me?? What was that?". She gets a look at my nose. Doesn't say anything more.

I'm finally getting the big picture. I'm getting a hang of this job search process and realize how different it is from the American style of job hunting. That's entirely for another post.

Last minute attempt

What does this say? We all know McCain was a POW in Vietnam. Less than two weeks before the election this is on the front page of the Fox News website:

Here's a closeup:

Next they'll come out with a Bin Laden video with Bin Laden discussing his close relationship with Obama. What a circus. It's these media stunts that are so transparently manipulative that it makes me sick. I pray that people are smarter than this. We'll see.

Why now? We've seen this footage. We've seen the photos. With just 11 days to the election do they think they can play on the sympathy of Americans? I appreciate the ordeals and tragedies that people go through, but to exploit them for political gain like this or the way Rudy Giuliani has exploited 9/11 time and again - it turns my stomach. Enough!

Health records

I just read an interesting article in the New York Times about all four people running for executive positions in the upcoming election providing limited health reports. In Barack Obama's case a one page letter from his personal doctor was provided stating that he is in "excellent" condition, but has holes considering his history with smoking, mother's cancer and father's drinking problem. McCain's report was given in 1200 pages, but is obscure about where his condition will lead. Joe Biden provided a report regarding his 1988 aneurysms and the fact that he recovered completely, but info is still inconclusive. And Sarah Palin has not provided anything. None of the candidates' doctors have granted interviews.

Here's my take on all the secrecy:

Barack Obama:

Theory one: Obama is the savior so there's no need to pry further. He will remain in perfect health until the end of the world. He just doesn't want to cause a stir. A blood test made public would reveal his true identity.


Theory two: Obama comes from another planet. A blood test proving him to not be human would definitely cause a stir. If McCain supporters think he's a Muslim or an Arab and they have a problem with that then finding out he's an extraterrestrial would be a holiday for them.

Theory four: Obama is from Atlantis. Checking for webbed feet and gills would surely give the right wing conservatives a field day.

Joseph Biden

Theory one: His miraculous full recovery is due to being healed by Barack Obama.


Theory two: His dad always told him - "If someone knocks you down, GET UP". So from that day on he attained powers to "get up" under the most extreme health challenges. A conclusive blood test proving his super hero status would surely cause a stir.

Theory three: He grew up in Scranton. Irrelevant yet effective.

John McCain

Theory one: McCain has made a pact with the devil. He's been granted longevity despite his ailing appearance.

Theory two: He is Frankenstein's monster.

Theory three: Un-dead.

Sarah Palin

Theory one: Palin pulled a Bree Hodge with Trig after Bristol became preggers with her first child. Doctor's records might reveal this.

Theory two: Palin is an evil sea monster.

Loud keys and thundering epiphanies

So I'm at the doctor's office yesterday when I notice a thundering and repetitive sound behind me. It's the heavy fingered typing of the receptionist. She's banging against the keys in a slow and sporadic rhythm. Hunt and peck punctuated with anger. Perhaps she has magnets in her fingertips, which are drawn like anti-gravity boots to the old, metal keys.

I'm reading Naomi Klein's Shock Doctrine and with each peck to the keys I wind myself back like a typewriter ribbon to the beginning of the paragraph I've started. And then it hits me - I'm sitting in a room with sick people waiting for an ear, nose and throat doctor when I realize this is the first day in a long time that I'm not sitting at my desk at home accomplishing absolutely nothing, thoughtlessly surfing the Internet and applying for countless jobs that I don't really want. I decide I'm going to do humanitarian work.

Yes. I want to devote my life, perhaps making less money than I might by wasting away in some corporate vacuum, to using whatever creative talent I have left to helping people in need.

Then - after leaving the doctor's office....after being ill, coughing and sneezing and run down for the past 3 weeks - I feel better! Might it have to do with the oat soup I've been ingesting? Who knows. I just know that now I know where to focus my energy and where not turn for merely assuaging a rusty, old, worn out work ethic. It's time to feel life.

Il Duce

Is anyone getting annoyed with the term socialism and it's application to the current economic system in the US? Doesn't socialism indicate some kind of egalitarian system in which the wealth is distributed and balanced amongst the citizens? Too many people quickly apply the term to anything that has to do with control by the state. Yes in both a socialist and a fascist society the economy is usually controlled by the state.

But in a fascist society the heavy debt is paid for by the people and there is NO return. True social Darwinism is achieved by suffocating the poor and the middle class. Fascism is about stripping the people of their rights, implementing fear of foreign invaders and shifting the money to the few and powerful in hopes that the rest will drop off into the sea. The corporations come out on top while the ordinary folks (Main Street is the irritating tag meaning regular people) pay. And pay. And pay.

When you have quality of educational districts divided by income, quality of health care contingent upon income who do you think will survive? When salaries get cut, but rents get higher where do the people go? When you have multitudes of people who have no time to follow dreams because they need to figure out how to pay rent, mortgage or car payments might the spirit dwindle? Might there be an intellectual divide? A class divide? I'm tired of people saying that less fortunate people don't work as hard. Bullshit. In most cases the hardest working people are the ones who get the least.

Yes I am announcing my bid for president. I know it's late in the game, but someone has to point out the giant elephant in the room wearing the black shirt with letters that read "Il Duce". I'm more charismatic than Ralph Nader and I have better recipes. Where do I sign up?

New Title

Collective Heartburn has entered the red zone and now must be called GOT SCHPILKES? Please make a note of it.